Okay, Agent. I will do that.

Hello Agent!

Hello Author, I can't represent your book because you haven't won any awards.

How could I have won any awards if this is my first potential publication?

Oh, well you have to write other things, like short stories and poems and win contests for them.

Okay, Agent. I will do that.



***

Hello Agent! I have won awards and contests with short stories and poems! Now will you represent me?

Oh, no! Your book has to sell well too! You must market it on every possible social network to get revenue that will interest us.

But I've been spending all my time writing for contests.

You must do both, Author.

Okay, Agent. I will do that.

***

Hello Agent! I have won contests and my short stories are in published journals! I have marketed well and people are buying my book! Now will you represent me?

Oh, it's possible, Author! Let me see your new novel.

I haven't gotten to my new novel. I have been marketing my first one and writing short stories and poems and entering contests.

Well, you must do it all, Author. 

How?

Perhaps you can train your body to only need four hours of sleep per night rather than eight.

Okay, Agent. I will do that. 

***

Agent! My new novel is here! I have done everything you asked me to do. Now will you represent me?

Oh, no! Your novel is good, but this other one will suit me better. Good bye! 

Honestly, I am not too discouraged (at the moment) about these things. However, I do know that these writing aspiriations I have are going to be a lot of work! But I am up for the challenge! 

Any advice???