"Just Get Up and Move and You'll Feel Better" What? I Don't Think So

After visiting my PA, I shuffled my feet home not only feeling tired but just plain discouraged about life. I had so much to get done, but all I could do was lie down on the couch and wish my life would go as planned. I thought about all the times I have tried to make things go just right (which is always) and all the times they just don’t (which is almost always).

Summer is just around the corner. Usually, I am dying for summer to come because then I get to play with my kids a whole lot more and I also don't have to rush people out the door early morning. But, this summer is going to be a bit different. I need to work. (Insert whatever emoji you associate with exhaustion here.) Remember that full-time music teaching job I told you about? Yeah, I still don't feel good about that, but to make up for the loss of money I've decided that freelance editing is a good idea. And it is! But it's going to be tricky in the summer. I know I can squeeze it in, but it's going to take a lot of strategic planning.

You see, I have two different brains during the calendar year. During the nine months of school I have a planning brain, a structured brain, a productive brain. In the summer I have a fun brain, a playful brain, a vacation brain, and a carefree brain. Mixing the two brains? I'm not so sure about that.

So, I continued to lay on the couch trying to sort this out with what I have left of my planning brain.

Have you ever felt overwhelmed with something and then suddenly everything that has ever bothered you comes to the surface? Yep, that's what happened to me this morning. I thought back over the past four years after my youngest left for kindergarten. Have I accomplished anything since then? Then I thought of all the stuff I planned on doing or wanted to do that I didn't get done. Now, I don't know if your list of didn't-do's is as long as mine, but wow, mine was long.

The crazy thing is this state of mind did absolutely NOT motivate me to get up and get at it. Rather, it did the exact opposite. All I wanted to do was lie there and fret. So what did I do? I lay there and fretted. Then I thought, "I'm making things worse by doing nothing. I should get up and do something." But I knew if I did that I would still feel sad and discouraged. I know "they" say if you just get up and move you'll feel better, but that has definitely not been the case with me. I might get something else done, but I won't feel better mentally, which just leads to more discouragement later on.

So I decided I would give myself a mental challenge. I would tell myself everything I DID accomplish in the past four years. Some of this is too personal to say, but here are some other things I came up with:  

• I have taught my children to read, play the piano, ride a bike, and how to hit a baseball. I've taught them about God and the scriptures. I've taught them good manners, how to treat others nicely, and how to do their homework.
• With my family, I have played games, danced, sang, played sports, gone on bike rides, gone on hikes, gone fishing, gone swimming, told stories, cooked, baked, and best of all, I have laughed loads and loads with them.
• I have supported my children with all of their sports teams, martial arts teams, swimming teams, music lessons, choirs, orchestras, and play productions.
• I have overcome a severe mental illness and I have forgiven someone who was very hard to forgive.
•  I have traditionally published a novel!
• I performed as the soprano soloist in my local Messiah concert, (which I practiced so hard for!) I sang with a professional flutist at her concert recital. I directed a college choir. I taught voice lessons. I directed my church's children's choir for four years.
•  I served as a local cub master for my son's cub scout pack.
• I have prepared dinner a thousand times, washed the dishes a thousand times, and folded the laundry a thousand times. Can't forget those things.

It wasn't until after I made this mental list that I started to feel better and I promptly fell asleep. It's been a long time since I took such a good nap. When I woke up I was ready to tackle the day! Never mind that it was noon.

So what's the moral of the story? Well, I think you can find a few in here, but the reminder I needed the most was this: A mental break and a mental pep talk are just as important as nurturing a physical ailment. We would never tell someone who sprained their wrist to just keeping using it. No, we would tell them to STOP using it so it could heal.